Uncategorized | Jun 6, 2013
What’s your funniest classroom story?
By Angela Watson
Founder and Writer
What’s your funniest classroom story?
By Angela Watson
Whether your school is already out for the summer and you’re in relaxation mode or you’re heading into the final few days, I have a feeling you’re ready for some comic relief.
I love to read the funny things that kids say and do. Here are some of my favorites from this page of hilarious kid stories I’ve compiled over the years along with some pictures of funny things teachers have encountered when grading student work:
At the school where I taught previously, students would line up on the blacktop before the morning bell. I would pick them up and we would walk together to the classroom. There was, of course, a no-talking rule in the hallway and I would often tell them, “If it doesn’t involve fire, blood, or throwing up, save it until we get to the classroom.” Well, one morning “M” kept saying, “Mrs. T, Mrs. T, I have to tell you something. I asked, “Does it involve, blood, fire, or throwing up?” “No”, he replied. But he kept saying, “Mrs. T, Mrs. T”. Finally, exasperated, I turn to him and ask gruffly, “WHAT?” He says, “I saw a pirate movie.” There’s a moment of silence as I stand and stare at him. And, with perfect comedic timing, he says, “It was rated RRRRR!”
This is my favorite kindergarten moment ever. A child was upset because her cat had died. I told her how sorry I was, and went on to tell her that I used to have a cat, and was sad when I had to find a home for her because my husband was allergic to cats. She looked at me in shock and questioned, “You’re married?’ When I replied that I was indeed married, she continued…”I know what you did on your wedding day.” I was afraid to ask, but went ahead. She replied, “You ate cake!”
One day it was getting close to recess and I had a few kids off task. I reminded them that before we could go outside there were certain things that needed to be done and, just for emphasis, I held up my plan book and pointed to the day’s agenda. One little boy’s eyes widened in surprise and he blurted out, “Omigod! You mean you write this stuff down?!”
One moment happened several years ago when I taught grade one. Each primary class had received one of those colorful carpets with the seven continents on it. Well, day 2 of having this carpet, Andre got very sick, and threw up. When his dad came to take him home, Andre proudly says, “Daddy, I threw up all over North America AND South America!”
I teach kindergarten and when I was urging a student to get down to work, he looked up and me and said, “You do know that I didn’t sign up for this. My dad did it.”
Please share your funniest stories in the comments here or on Facebook!
Angela Watson
Founder and Writer
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Finding humor amidst my sorrow~ (*a dear friend had passed away the night before)
My teaching name is Mrs. Bodily. I found a cute little red heart on my desk from a student to day that has “I love you” written on one side and my name on the other. The problem is that whomever wrote it misspelled ‘Bodily’ by putting in an extra ‘o’ and reversing the ‘d’. I have shed a few tears this morning* so maybe that student noticed . . .
Then, EPIC FAILED SCIENCE EXPERIENCE:
We have been studying Life Cycles and have completed all the requisite work involved in having Painted Lady Butterflies morph from larva in our room over the past few weeks. We went outside this morning to set them free, and it started out beautifully. The children oooo-ed and aaaaah-ed appropriately when one climbed onto my finger as I reached into the netted container. I raised my hand upwards and after a few majestic moments of wing-flapping, it took flight. It was beautiful!
And then . . .
I turned to reach into the container a second time to repeat this splendid process, when I heard the children shriek, “THE BIRD ATE THE BUTTERFLY!!!” I whipped back around in just in time to see a bird land on the top of the chain-link fence with – yes, that’s right – our butterfly in it’s beak!
I was horrified, as were the students – for different reasons though.
You see, I knew that out of the eight butterflies that made it out of their shells, four had become stuck in the fruit/juice that I had placed in their temporary habitat – just as the booklet instructed – and had not survived their gluttony. This, fortunately, had not been noticed by the students. When we went outside to release them I purposely went to the edge of the playground where a fence borders a weed infested empty lot so I could “release” those special ones into the weeds without fanfare.
After the bird incident, I realized I was down to just a couple more to divert their attention . . . So I quickly attempted a second release a little closer to the fence – away from the giant winged butterfly hunter. That was successful so I went for the third and before I even got my arm above my head, another bird swooped in and took that one! By now the kids were near hysterical, so I cut my losses and dumped the remaining contents of our butterfly home and told the kids to run a lap. We called it recess and went back inside.
Not sure if I’ll try that one again next year . . .
I taught in a one room, multi grade school with an attached teacherage for a few years. All my students were farm/ranch kids and had an idea of reproduction, however nothing prepared me for what was to come out ot the mouth of the babe! I have two dachshunds that were often in the classroom with us. One male one female. The kids asked me quite often if there were going to be puppies. I had always told them,not until my female was older. One day as I was teaching a subject to my two older students, my Kindergartners and 1st graders were having a discussion about whether or not my dog was going to have puppies. I hear this little kindergarten voice say ” Miss Tangen, does Sheppy have nuts” The older student I was standing next to made a bee line for the bathroom to laugh and without missing a beat I said ” Yes he does, just like you have to have a bull to get a calf” Nothing more was said and they went back to work and on to another topic at their table. It was all I could do to compose myself! This was a few years back and I can still hear that sweet little voice ask the most innocent of questions that still makes me laugh!
One day while I was walking down the hall in our school I ended up walking next to a line of kindergartners who were heading to their music class. One little girl grabbed my hand and looked up at me with big sparkling blue eyes and a giant grin. As we walked along she said, “Do you know what? Someday I’m going to be just like you!” I smiled back and said, “Oh really? So you want to be a teacher when you grow up?” She replied with a wrinkled up nose,”No way! I don’t really like school all that much. But, I AM going to have shoes like you that make that CLICK, CLICK, CLICK noise when I walk!”
I was in my first year of teaching 1st grade in South Carolina. My students had been learning about the solar system. We had made a paper mache solar system in the class and researched all of the planets. They really knew their stuff! On one of our last days, we were completing our KWL chart and the students had listed facts about all of the planets. They named the planets that the facts described. However, they could not remember Uranus. I kept probing, and they would give more facts about the planet. They simply couldn’t remember the planet’s name. After some time, a little boy raised his hand. It was as if the Heavens had parted and all of the sun’s light was streaming down onto this beautiful child’s face! I was so excited! I looked at the boy and said, “Yes, Jonathan (not his real name), and he looked me in the eye and excitedly yelled “Uterus!” I have never laughed so hard about anything in school before or since!
You guys are cracking me up! I LOVE these! Thank you so much for taking the time to type them out for us!