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Classroom Management, Teaching Tips & Tricks   |   Jan 1, 2015

An easy way to build individual relationships with students

By Angela Watson

Founder and Writer

An easy way to build individual relationships with students

By Angela Watson

As teachers, we all want to establish strong connections with students and give them individual attention on a daily basis. But that’s a pretty broad goal that can be hard to put into action, especially considering how many other priorities are vying for our attention. How can we make time for individual connections? How can we ensure we’re dividing our time fairly?

An easy way to build individual relationships with students

If you find that you only have time to pay one-on-one attention to kids when they’re doing something wrong, this strategy is for you! You can break out of the rut of giving only negative attention to challenging students and overlooking the kids who usually make good choices.

An easy way to build individual relationships with students

Here’s what you do: divide your class list into fifths. On your Daily Connections sheet, write in one group of student names for each day of the week. So, if you have 25 kids in your class, you’ll have 5 targeted kids for Monday, 5 for Tuesday, and so on.

Each day, look at your list and see which kids you’ll want to give extra and attention and make individual connections. You could even pray for those students or think positive thoughts for them, if you choose.

When the class is working independently, spend a little more time giving feedback to those kids. Compliment them on things you might otherwise overlook because you’re so busy. Observe them more closely when they’re working, and smile or give a thumbs up to encourage them to keep at it. At dismissal, ask them about their plans that evening or weekend.

An easy way to build individual relationships with students

You might also use that day to spend a little more time reading through and responding to those 5 kids’ writing assignments. You can learn a lot by what students write in their journals! Take the time to write back, asking questions and making comments. You can also make a note for yourself about things kids have written so you’ll remember to bring it up in conversation (“Hey, how was cheerleading practice last night?”)

Of course, students should never know that you have a system for connecting with them! The list is only for your reference, and you certainly don’t want to ignore the other kids.

The goal is to have a routine that makes it easier for you to make sure you’re sending a critical message to each and every student through the smallest of gestures: You matter. I see you, I acknowledge you as a unique individual person in this classroom, and I care about you. 

Download the FREE printable form here!

Angela Watson

Founder and Writer

Angela is a National Board Certified educator with 11 years of teaching experience and more than a decade of experience as an instructional coach. She started this website in 2003, and now serves as Editor-in-Chief of the Truth for Teachers...
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  1. This is a great idea. I would probably print it out and stick on the clipboard I carry around. Then I could check off as I go throughout the week. Another alternative would be just to print out a roster each week and check off each name as you go through the week and talk to them. That way you wouldn’t have to worry about if your kids for the day are present that day and you can just grab a few minutes with whoever is first in line on the way to lunch or standing next to you in line at the restroom, etc.

    1. I love the idea of the using the roster, Rebecca, and also keeping the list on a clipboard which you carry everywhere. So smart and I think it would work really well!

      For me, it was helpful to have a set system of the same kids each day because it kind of trained me to be on the lookout for those kids on that day. It got to the point where I’d know, okay, today’s Wednesday, and the 5 kids for Wednesday popped into my mind without even looking at the list!

      When I first started doing this, I just divided a regular class roster into sections. Then I realized that there were some kids that were a little needier than others or harder to make connections with, and it helped me to spread them out throughout the week. I also tried to group best friends together–since I knew both kids would probably be hanging out together at lunch, recess, etc., it was easier to find them out and start fun conversations.

      Let me know how what you end up trying. I don’t think you can go wrong with any variation of this system and your kids are going to benefit tremendously!

  2. I really like this idea. I am making the switch from a behavior chart to not chart when we return in a few days… The same students were always “good” or “bad” colors, so it wasn’t really accomplishing anything for this group of students. Printing out a connections sheet and having it on my clipboard will help me to reach out to my kiddos in a positive way. Plus, I can group them so that I connect with a variety of students each day… My roster has grouped students together who are very “energetic”… This will allow me to mix them in with my more studious/rule following students so that I can touch bases with them for positives, not just to move a clip… It’s going to be an adjustment for us all!

    Thank you… Can’t wait for the next reveal ☺️

    1. Hi, Debi! Thanks for your patience with the next project…I am just as anxious as you guys to get things rolling along!

      Regarding the behavior charts…I agree most kids either stay on green all day and get no attention, or get to red by 9 am! I commend you for letting go of a system that wasn’t working for you and starting fresh!

      I wrote a post awhile back about how to change routines and procedures mid-year and explain to the kids why it’s happening. Hope this helps. Let us know how it goes!


      1. Thank you for the link… We start back on Tuesday and this is going to be part of my morning meeting. I am optimistic that with a discussion about how they have grown this year, my second graders will be eager to pack the behavior chart away. I’m working on a new calendar for them, with a place for them to write something they’ve learned each day instead of what their behavior was… I will keep one to so we can learn how to reflect on our day. Hopefully, this will be something that the parents will be able to use to discuss their child’s day, instead of the standard one word answer… “How was school today?” “Good.”

  3. Thanks for sharing this idea! It’s a great way to consciously connect with every student. I would even like to challenge myself to incorporate parent communication whether a short email or a quick note home.

  4. Thank you so much for great tip! I have been thinking of a way to connect with my students for this new year. I’m brainstorming now on parent involvement thanks so much for this creative idea 🙂

  5. I like the idea of the system to get around to each student and I was already thinking of when I would check in..might even be around already scheduled activities for my different groups. Thanks for having sheets for varying numbers. This will come in handy!

    1. You’re welcome! I like your approach of creating a routine where you always make an extra effort to connect with kids. It will become habitual much more easily that way, because you will naturally just delve into conversations, etc. during that time of day.

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