Teaching Tips & Tricks | Nov 22, 2012
Why I quit my teaching job mid-year (no, it wasn’t the testing)
By Angela Watson
Founder and Writer
Why I quit my teaching job mid-year (no, it wasn’t the testing)
By Angela Watson
I wanted to write a post for those of you who are barely making it, and are so dreading the return to school the following morning that you can’t even enjoy your evenings off. The idea of going back to that place just makes you sick to your stomach. I get it. I have been in your shoes. And I’ll share with you what happened when I quit my teaching position at exactly this point in the school year almost ten years ago.
What my teaching situation was like
Quitting was one of the hardest decisions I ever made. My administrators were blindsided by the decision–after all, I was an experienced teacher with multiple years in urban schools, and I had a good handle on my classroom. My students were learning, and their benchmark test scores showed strong gains. The kids liked me, their parents liked me. Things seemed to be fine. But what people didn’t know was that it took EVERYTHING out of me to keep it that way.
Things seemed to be fine. But what people didn’t know was that it took EVERYTHING out of me to keep it that way.
I had just moved to the state and had no idea what to expect in my new school. I was disappointed to learn that most of my second graders were reading on a late kindergarten level, and the pressure to get them up to speed was weighing heavily on me. We had no windows in our classroom, and were not allowed to have recess or any break at all during the day (per district mandate), so I was stuck in a tiny, dark classroom with a large class of energetic seven-year-olds and zero outlet for all their energy.
Beyond our four walls, the school’s atmosphere was in total chaos. We couldn’t send students to the bathroom alone, as there had been instances of both girls and boys being raped there by other students. One of my kids found a knife on the ground on our way to lunch. An off-duty police officer and a drill sargeant were hired to help control the students in the cafeteria: one of them would bend over and scream in the children’s faces while the other marched up and down the center aisle, yelling into a microphone as the kids threw food around his head.
Not exactly a fun working and learning environment.
Things were quite a bit calmer in my classroom, but student behaviors still posed a huge problem. Getting students to respond appropriately to even the smallest request took Herculean, first-day-of-school efforts from me. It was like the movie Groundhog Day. We practiced the same basic routines and procedures over and over, and three quarters of the class just wasn’t internalizing anything.
My breaking point
I remember the exact breaking point. I hadn’t used our social studies books yet that year, but there was a particular passage I wanted the kids to check out as an intro to our activity. I said to the class, “Okay, when you hear the magic signal, you’re going to take out your social studies books and turn to page 35.” At the mention of the word social studies, one student burst into tears and crawled under desk so he could bang his head against the floor. (Later I learned this was a reaction to social studies he’d begun having in first grade and his previous teacher had no idea why.) Another boy murmured something under his breath, causing all the children in his vicinity to say, “Awwww…Andre called you the B word!”
Simultaneously, another child took out his social studies book but accidentally dropped it on the floor, causing the children around him to laugh. “What you laughing at, punk? Shut the F up!” and then punched the kid nearest him in the arm. The child who was punched did the same thing right back. The two of them sat there glaring at each other, and the children around them were either frozen in anticipation or egging them on to a fight.
Almost every child in the classroom was now either disrupting the lesson or distracted by the disrupters. One child had her hand up asking to go the bathroom. Another had his hand up and was pointing at the child next to him, who was gleefully ripping out pages of the social studies book. Yet another child was tapping me on my arm and asking me to repeat the page number.
As I took a deep breath and made a decision about which fire to put out first, I heard a scuffle outside the door and a voice come over the intercom. “Lockdown, code 3. Lockdown, code 3.” That meant the police were pursuing a suspect in the neighborhood, and I had to cover the small window on our door and move the class away from it.
I wanted to teach…and THAT wasn’t teaching
It was in that moment that I knew my job was not worth the energy expenditure I had to put out everyday. I realized that I was up against too many obstacles, and most of them were insurmountable. Things were not going to improve significantly and I was going to go home exhausted every day for the entire year.
I was managing the classroom, I was maintaining some sense of order, but I wasn’t teaching.
It wasn’t that I was incapable of handling it. That day, I could have had the class back on task within a minute or two after all those interruptions. But those things happened all day long, every day. I was managing the classroom, I was maintaining some sense of order, but I wasn’t teaching.
I wanted to have deep conversations with my students about current events.
I wanted to delve into books with them and watch their eyes light up when they made connections between the text and their own lives.
I wanted to see them develop a sense of curiosity and wonder about the world through investigations in science.
I wanted to teach.
But after seven weeks of school–almost the entire first quarter–the kids still weren’t anywhere near ready for those things. And so I was still spending the entire day disciplining students and teaching them basic work habits and socio-emotional skills.
The worst part? All teachers who were new to the district were required to stay in the same school for THREE YEARS. Sticking it out until June wouldn’t have done me any good, because I would have had no choice but to return to the same situation again in the fall. And again the following fall. I was trapped in that level of stress for another two and a half years, and the thought of going in for even one more day after the long weekend passed was enough to make me physically ill.
And yet the guilt I felt over even thinking about quitting was indescribable.
Making the decision to quit my teaching job
Was I really willing to abandon such a needy group of children in the middle of the school year?
What kind of person would give up on those kids and look for an easier job just so her own life could be more comfortable?
I felt selfish. I felt like a hypocrite. I felt like a failure as a teacher.
But I had to do it.
My principal was shocked and furious, vowing that I’d never work in the district again (Not for a million dollars, lady!, I wanted to yell.)
Even worse was the unexpected reaction of my students. I thought they’d be devastated, but most of the kids barely blinked when I told them Friday would be my last day. Part of their nonchalance was because of their young age, but I realized with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that they were so used to losing teachers and other important adults in their lives on just a moment’s notice that this was par for the course.
I got hugs and letters and a few tears on the last day, but the majority of the class was so wrapped up in their own issues that they weren’t even thinking about me. Five minutes before the final bell rang, two of my toughest kids got in a physical altercation over an eraser one of them had thrown, and I was so busy dealing with them and school security that there was no opportunity to have wistful goodbyes. My time at that school ended just as chaotically as it had started.
What happened after I quit my teaching job: a fresh start in a new school
My decision to quit in the middle of the year would have been much tougher if I’d had to leave the field altogether. I know that’s the situation for many of you who are reading this post and unable to find other teaching jobs. I quit in a year when there were far more teaching positions then qualified teachers. You’re going to groan when I tell you that within a day of making my decision, I had an interview in a neighboring county and was hired on the spot.
But maybe you can relate to this part: the hope that in a different school, the love of teaching would return.
I can tell you without a doubt that it did. My new school had its problems, of course, but I felt safe there. My students were safe. And I was able to really teach again. I stayed in the classroom for another five years (and probably would have stayed longer, except I got married, moved to New York, and started doing instructional coaching). I even chose to spend my last two years as a classroom teacher in another inner city school.
Urban teaching is where my heart has always been, and will always be. I know that it doesn’t have to be a nightmare. These days I work with teachers in some of the toughest areas of Brooklyn, Harlem, and the Bronx, and I see the amazing things they’re able to do. The quality of teaching and learning in many high-poverty schools is truly exceptional and they can be fantastic places to work.
5 things to know if you’re thinking about quitting YOUR teaching job
There’s no clear-cut moral to this story, I suppose. I’m hoping it’s helpful just to know you’re not the only one and someone else has been through this.
But there are a few other things I want you to know if you feel like quitting teaching right now or are still feeling tremendous guilt about having quit:
1) It’s not your imagination–teaching IS getting harder.
Our students are coming to school with more and more problems, and the bar for achievement is continually being raised.
2) Sometimes, the school year does not get easier with time, and that’s not necessarily your fault.
Usually I’ve found that teaching becomes less stressful as the year progresses because students get the routines and make more and more academic progress. Occasionally, though, this was not true for me and it’s not true for other teachers I know. Sometimes the class is just a really difficult one and your stress level won’t improve until the following year when you have a different group. That’s very normal.
3) You are not a bad teacher just because your job feels too hard.
Even the best teachers get put in situations that are physically and mentally exhausting. Feeling like you want to quit does not mean that you were not cut out for the job, or are a bad person. The position you’re in just may not be the best one for you, or you may just be having an exceptionally tough year.
4) Quitting does not equal failure.
I struggled with the decision to quit long after I’d left the job, because I felt like I had abandoned the kids who needed me the most. I had to remind myself over and over: It’s not that I couldn’t do the job, it’s that I chose not to for my own mental well-being and physical health. I was not a failure, I was successful in taking care of myself. I have many other responsibilities in life in addition to being a teacher, and I was not willing to let all those other areas fall apart because of my job.
5) There are lots of ways to use your talents and gifts to help children.
Many teachers who quit still have a deep desire to work with children and make a difference in their lives. There are many, many ways to do that. Your career as an educator does not have to be over simply because you don’t want to stay where you’re at.
Is quitting really the answer?
Now, to be clear: I’m not telling you to quit your job. Quitting is not always the right decision: in fact, there were plenty of other low points in my teaching career in which I wanted to walk away but didn’t. During those times, I found that I was frustrated in the moment, but I knew in my heart that things WOULD get better, that an overbearing principal would transfer to another school (he did), that the transition to a new curriculum would be for the best (it was), or that I could make it through just a few more months with an exasperating parent or student (I did.) One of the best things about teaching is that every fall is a new start. Sometimes the best thing to do is hold on until then.
But for those of you who have emailed asking me whether to quit your job or teach on (and there have been hundreds of those emails over the years), I continue to say: do what you know is best for yourself.
If you’re not sure, keep teaching. Hang in there as long as you can.
Read Awakened: Change Your Mindset to Transform Your Teaching and learn how to perceive stress differently.
Read Unshakeable: 20 Ways to Enjoy Teaching Every Day…No Matter What and get ideas for infusing your day with meaning, purpose, and joy.
Join The 40 Hour Teacher Workweek Club and get productivity hacks to help you achieve balance.
If and when you hit that breaking point–your gut feeling is to go, and the reasons to leave truly outweigh the reasons to stay–you’ll know, and you shouldn’t ignore that realization if you can find another option.
You will hear many voices within the school system telling you to prioritize your work (or more accurately, your students’ test scores) but it will be far less often that you hear the message to prioritize your health and well-being. I’m telling you that today.
It might mean finding another job, or it might mean staying and developing different coping strategies for stress, but my advice is to do whatever it takes to avoid complete burn out. I think as teachers we owe that to ourselves.
I’d love to read your stories on this topic. Have you ever quit mid-year? Are you thinking about doing it? What advice would you give teachers who are in that position?
Angela Watson
Founder and Writer
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Wow. Thank you for posting this, it resonated with me on so many levels. My school is very similar, down to the tiny, dark, windowless classroom. I have 8th graders and class sizes over 30. Adrenaline coarses through my body nonstop everyday from the moment I walk into my building until I leave. By the time I get home, I am so drained that i regularly fall asleep next to my five year old son as i sit down to play with him before dinner. Like you, i am able to mantain order in my classroom and my test scores last year and benchmark scores so far this year are good and show a great deal of student improvement. The students, parents and my coworkers like me, and I like them. I really care about my students and am passionate about my content area. However, it drains 110% of my energy to do so, and recently, i have started getting to school a few minutes late because i will become frozen at my door in the morning, unable to walk to my car in sheer panic, with more anxiety than i ever thought i was capable of feeling. No one around me except my coworkers has any idea how difficult my job is, and i have found it becoming increasingly difficult to remain calm when a stay at home mom tells me how exhausted she feels from her morning workout, or someone asks me about how great it must be to work “half days, with all of those long breaks”. I teach down the hall from an ex-marine, who says that he is far more drained after a day at our school than after a day in training or desert storm. Another teacher down the hall passed out in front of her class this October, and the emergency room diagnosis was dehydration and exhaustion. We have to manage hydration carefully, as there are no bathroom breaks for long periods of time, but need water due to the hours of projecting your voice. We hardly ever get time to work during planning-there is almost always a meeting or we have to cover for absent teachers, as many substitute will not come to our school. I teach with extremely intelligent, hardworking people who all want the best for our students, and we put everything we have into the job, at the expense of our own families and physical/mental well being. We are paid on a pay scale, and as a 2nd year teacher w a masters, i take home $512 a week. It has been very difficult to support my son and myself on this budget, especially with preschool, early and late stay costs, and childcare for days he is out but I have to work. I am a single mom, and my healthcare plan is so poor its almost nonexistant (7,000 deductible- i chose this over the really expensive plan bc i wasnt sure how I could make ends meet with a higher monthly payment). I have invested several years into this career, and am so drained that I do not even want to apply to a different school next year- i need to find something totally different and have so many feelings about leaving a career where I know my natural talents lie and I am just now becoming really sucessful in (given the situation I am teaching in). I have always been an extremely energetic and optimistic, positive person, and am terrified that this job is changing me and causing long term health issues. I will be recieving my full certification in June, and know I need to stay until then in order to find a better job, because of the stigma of quitting mid year. And i feel an enormous responsibility to my 124 students. My son and fiance ask me every few days to please start applying to jobs, and i have spent the entire fall debating whether to leave mid year and wait tables until i can find something more secure. The real victims are the students- kids who need safe, positive learning environments the most are the ones who suffer from the problems of teacher turnover, crazy decisions made by higher ups, etc. I am at a title one school, and supposedly we get extra federal money bc we have over 90% of students on free lunch. But I dont even have enough textbooks for each student in my room to have one during class- they have to share. The school ordered enough for every student to have their own, but i was told that they were “animals” who would tear up the books, which were being sent back to the publisher for a partial refund (seriously- it was exactly like the scene in Americn Teacher). I love teaching, and i love my students (yes- even the ones with severe issues). But I am in such an unbearable working enviornment that I literally will break out in hives due to the stress. You are right about how it is almost taboo for teachers to complain or say anything negative about their jobs, and I can not express how much I appreciate your courage in posting. Being able to share my experience here and knowing other teachers have had feelings and experiences as extreme as mine might just give me the strength to make it until June. The real victims here are the kids- if our nation could pay teachers a decent salary, and hire enough to give each teacher a manageable class size, and provide us with materials we need, the payoff in the future for our country would be worth every penny. The money is there, it is just being grossly misallocated (im looking at you walmart executives w the million plus bonus tax loopholes). Teachers should be respected and valued as highly specialized professionals, like doctors and lawyers. I might be able to make more waiting tables next year, which says so much about what our society values. What really worries me for these kids and future students at schools such as this is that I do not know if the people who have the power to make the needed changes will. In my state and district, all of the leaders (governor, superintendant, etc.), send their kids to private schools. Teachers are being put in impossible situations in schools like mine. Schools that need great teachers the most can not retain them. My school had over 30% of staff leave last year, and leaving mid year is not uncommon. These kids have never had adults consistantly love and care for them in healthy ways, and need this desperately. Honestly, that and respect for my coworkers is the only reason that i do not run out of the building screaming “i quit” each day during the most chaotic moments. But staying has a very steep price- i feel as if I have missed two years of my own son’s life. The mid-year quitting feelings are so mixed and complicated, and i really appreciate the way you articulated the experience. Again, thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story I feel the same way about my school and this is my first year teaching. I felt defeated and felt that this was not the right job for me. I am leaving mid year because my school is possibly losing its charter this year. The students do not want to learn and their attitudes are horrible. I did find another teaching position before I leave, I just believe this is the right move for me. Management and Administrators are a revolving door and it is hard on us teachers, Hope my new position is better, the structure should be better and support as well. I am glad I am not the only one.
Hello,
I am in the same boat as most of you on this thread. I am a high school ESL teacher within an urban school district in New Jersey. I am an in-class support teacher for five different subjects; geometry, biology, English, economics and History. Mind you, I am not certified in any of these areas. I try to prepare word walls, differentiation and other scaffolding methods to help my ESL students on a daily basis. I feel that my ESL students do not take me seriously as their teacher; due to the fact that I am not knowledgeable within this areas. When it comes to the issue of working with another teacher, it has been very difficult. I had teachers who would completely ignore my existence in the class and when I try to be apart of the classroom or the lesson, they do not take my expertise as an ESL teacher seriously. I also tried to plan lesson ideas and assignments with the teachers I try to work with but they are never followed through. When I try to follow discipline procedures that the principal wants all of us teachers to follow, I follow them. When it comes to the issues of students taking out their cell phones during a lesson, and I ask them to put them away, they do not listen. What is even worse is that our school district gave all of the students laptops. These laptops have touch screens, and worse cameras and video capabilities. The teachers were told at meetings that our evaluations will be affected negatively if a student decides to take their cell phone out during class. My last observation I received a Basic for classroom climate because a student took out their phone; which I think it is completely unfair. We have no control over our students hands. Now with the laptops it is going to be a larger issue. The students are already going on youtube and playing loud music and I had to tell them that these computers are not to be used for that. They kept talking and listening to music while I was telling them this. It was a major struggle. I then told the teacher who left the class for fifteen to twenty minutes about how the students were using the computers, and they did nothing. I feel like my hands are tied in this teaching situation. It is getting to be more and more of a horrible struggle day in and day out. How can I enforce policies and procedures when the other teacher I work with does not enforce the same rules as well? The school also has no rules set up for these laptops etc.. The administration told the teachers to make up their own rules for the laptops. Here is the problem… When the student goes from one class to the next, they are going to try to take advantage of knowing that there are really no rules to be followed or set up. In the end, this makes it harder for all of us teachers to effectively do our jobs well. I was told by the administration that they want the In-class support teachers to ask higher level thinking questions in the class that we teach. Here is the issue with this one… If we as ESL and or special needs teachers who have little or no knowledge in the content areas we are in, how can we do that effectively? It does not make any sense. In addition, we are also being evaluated like regular classroom teachers; which is not right either. There should be a different format for In-class support teachers when they are being evaluated. We are not the primary teacher in that classroom. We do not create or make the lessons. Now, it is virtually impossible to try and sit with the content area teachers to create plans for lessons, assignments and projects. They are busy working with the other teachers in their own department and trying to follow the “Common Core” standards. Plus, all teacher within their own department have to do cooperative lesson plans. I never get lesson plans on time or at all. This also makes my job hard and to be able to be effective and provide the proper services to my ESL students; which is not fair to them. I was told in the beginning when I was hired that I was going to be teaching ESL within the self-contained setting. When I got to the school I was working in, I was told I was going to be doing In-class support; which I knew nothing about and I had no prior training in whatsoever. Last year was the hardest year to boot. they had me teaching seven classes; two maths, history, English with a teacher who was a bully in her tone to me and the other students, biology and I had two classes of my own for ESL. I was observed in a pop up observation and I was given all Unsatisfactory’s in four domains; due to the fact that the teacher never gave me lesson plans, they would not give me any of their PowerPoints so I could learn the material and help my students, and they were also taking a benchmark test the day they came in. After my post observation, I told them what the situation was and they kept the marks the same. As a result of this situation, I received a partially effective for my annual evaluation. When I came back this September of 2014, I had to sign a paper to be on this improvement plan. I told the principal about the situation that happened last year and he did not say anything or even bothered to look into it. The goals in that plan were to have a meeting once a month with the administrator on the progress, that has never happened once this year. I have only been observed once and it is now almost the end of January. I am really at the end of my rope here. I feel like I have no more to offer my students; because the content is over my head and I cannot keep up. I have bad anxiety and depression and my levels are making it worse to be in the job. I have been out of work for almost six days due to these issues. The doctor has me trying different medications to see which one works well. The nurse at the doctors office tells me nothing is worth getting bad health over. My friends tell me they see a deterioration of my overall health. I just know I cannot go on much longer like this. I have been teaching now for over four and a half years. I also substitute taught for eight years; total 12 and a half years. I just think I would rather go back to being a substitute teacher while going back to school for something else. I do not have a family to support, no children, no mortgage, etc.. However, I am still at a crossroads on what I can do. I am also going back to school to get my culinary and pastry arts license. My goal is to be a personal chef and cooking teacher. If I substitute teach and be a personal chef and cooking teacher, I can make just the same if not more money than I make now. I would be curious to find out what other peoples thoughts of this are on this thread?
I have an interesting dilemma. I taught music in private schools and private lessons and subbed for about 6 or 7 years. I finally went back to school to obtain my teaching license and master’s degree. Right out of my two year program, (maybe because it took a little longer for me to get my license approved) although I went on many interviews, and even had second interviews, the only school that offered me a job was a school serving a high poverty population in an urban area. In addition to that, this particular school is in my neighboring state, which freely removed reading and speech specialist, in addition to special education staff and has not law requiring a school from filling a classroom with more than a certain number of people.
Although i teach music which should be a fun class, there are not enough electives in this school so kids are dropped into the classes. The kids at this school are extremely unmotivated and don’t really understand the value of an education. So even when there is a rapport built with a student, seemingly they still continue to go on a destructive path except for a few exceptions.
After a year and a half working here, I barely had the energy to continue on with the current school year. Even though it was difficult and it’s been difficult, I was determined to finish out the year at this school and just start fresh next year in a new school, maybe even a new city….maybe even a college or university (that’s where my heart beat is anyways.)
To add insult to injury, my family experienced a horrible tragedy over Christmas break. My sister (the second of my parents three children) suddenly died of heart failure at 41. She was autistic and 20 years ago, we buried my eldest sister who had cerebral palsy at 21, who also died of heart failure suddenly.
My parents currently live in a different city and state than I do. Now more than ever, considering the high stress level of my job, the fact that my parents are now mourning the second of their three children, the idea that they will be mourning her while worried about me from another city, and the fact that I’m worried about my own health now more than ever——I DEFINITELY want to leave.
I’m most likely going to leave early pending some tests I have to take and whether or not the doctor determines that I need further testing which may require medical leave– however I have thought seriously about it. I’ve felt the guilt that you described in your post, I’ve felt the fear of not having an income for a while (although I would have somewhere to stay) however it would be with my parents for a while.
I guess I’m mostly sure but my health issues are taking so long it’s making me doubtful, but at the same time, the stress of the place plus the stress of the sudden death of my sister and the grief has been definitely having an adverse affect on my health.
What are your thoughts? Any other teachers reading this post, what are your thoughts? Thanks.
I am ready to quit now and have been for several years. What happens if I do quit in the middle of the year? With my contract?
By the way, I am not interested in getting another teaching job. I want to do something completely different. I have insurance with my husband too.
Tara, the answer will depend on where you teach–check with your union on this and read your contract to make sure you can deal with whatever repercussions there are.