Twitter sucks, apparently.

Not ONE of you blog readers took advantage of the opportunity to pimp your Twitter username and gain more followers.*

Not ONE of you Yahoo Group members did, either, when I made my request a week ago.

And, not ONE of my real-life friends and family members are on Twitter. (My mom called after reading my blog. “Okay, so what’s the purpose of this Twitting stuff?”. She dozed off after my vague and repeated use of terms such as networking and driving blog traffic.**)

So that’s over 500 SUBSCRIBERS (not to mention the hundreds of random blog visitors and folks I actually see in person) who neglected to share a Twitter username here, on their own blogs, or anywhere, for that matter.

The only logical conclusion: Twitter may be gaining 5,000-10,000 new users daily, but none of them know ME.

Either Twitter is going to be a complete waste of time because no one of importance is on it yet…or it’s going to be life-changing because every single one of the people I’m conversing with is currently outside my current circle of reach. Each of the millions of Twitterers I could “meet” will be a person outside the familiar realm…a person I would have otherwise never had contact with…a new being with whom I can exchange brilliant ideas.

Kind of exciting.

Now if you’ll pardon me, I’m going to check my TweetDeck to find out what a total stranger’s cat just barfed up. Surely that’s the best use of my time.

*Other than someone who I was already aware of on Twitter (yay, Cardiogirl!) and one person who informed me that he joined but doesn’t use it (thanks for nothing, Wow, That Was Awkward). And note: Neither of these bloggers are educators.

**But not before retorting, “Wow, Twitter only lets you use 140 characters per post? That’s going to be REALLY hard for you, Ms. Wordy!”. Precisely why Twitter is such a great writing exercise. Right? Right?