It’s the Thursday of my week for dismissal duty, which means I’ve spent the past four afternoons standing outside for twenty minutes waiting for parents to arrive. This is a mind-bogglingly dull task, unless you happen to eavesdrop on the conversations around you. A lot of pretty funny stuff can happen in eighty minutes when you’re in a school parking lot.
Child: Look, mommy, those two mens are twins!
Parent: No, they’re not.
Child: Yes, they are, they have the same [gold] teeths!
Student: Mrs. Teacher! Boy in green shirt didn’t go to tutoring!
Teacher: Um. Boy in green shirt isn’t IN tutoring.
Student: But he needs to be! He doesn’t speak any English!
Boy 1: Is that your mom’s car?
Boy 2: No, my mom doesn’t have a car.
Boy 1: Yeah-huh! She picked you up in it yesterday. It was RED!
Boy 2: No, that’s not her car. That’s her JEEP. Hel-looooo!!
Boy 1: Santa Claus is coming…to toooowwwwnnnnn!
Boy 2: Yeah, and you know who else is coming? God. He’s coming back, too.
Boy 1: What?
Boy 2 (points at sky): God is up there, but He’s coming back one day.
Boy 1: Stop pointing at God.
Girl: My mom says whenever you’re pointing at a person, three fingers are pointing back at you.
Boy 2: Yeah, it’s so rude.
Girl 1: I gotta find my lunch money for tomorrow!
Girl 2: Wait. You pay?!
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