Overheard at dismissal

It’s the Thursday of my week for dismissal duty, which means I’ve spent the past four afternoons standing outside for twenty minutes waiting for parents to arrive. This is a mind-bogglingly dull task, unless you happen to eavesdrop on the conversations around you. A lot of pretty funny stuff can happen in eighty minutes when you’re in a school parking lot.

Child: Look, mommy, those two mens are twins!
Parent: No, they’re not.
Child: Yes, they are, they have the same [gold] teeths!

—
Student: Mrs. Teacher! Boy in green shirt didn’t go to tutoring!
Teacher: Um. Boy in green shirt isn’t IN tutoring.
Student: But he needs to be! He doesn’t speak any English!

—
Boy 1: Is that your mom’s car?
Boy 2: No, my mom doesn’t have a car.
Boy 1: Yeah-huh! She picked you up in it yesterday. It was RED!
Boy 2: No, that’s not her car. That’s her JEEP. Hel-looooo!!

—
Boy 1: Santa Claus is coming…to toooowwwwnnnnn!
Boy 2: Yeah, and you know who else is coming? God. He’s coming back, too.
Boy 1: What?
Boy 2 (points at sky): God is up there, but He’s coming back one day.
Boy 1: Stop pointing at God.
Girl: My mom says whenever you’re pointing at a person, three fingers are pointing back at you.
Boy 2: Yeah, it’s so rude.

—
Girl 1: I gotta find my lunch money for tomorrow!
Girl 2: Wait. You pay?!