Uncategorized | May 8, 2009
From the mailbag: obnoxious co-workers
By Angela Watson
Founder and Writer
From the mailbag: obnoxious co-workers
By Angela Watson
I once had 52 third graders in my class. It was a “temporary” team-teaching situation (hah! good one) due to overcrowding, and an absolute recipe for disaster. I was new to the district, the rooms were small, and I accepted the position without having met my co-teacher. By the grace of God, she was the most accommodating and downright entertaining partner I could have imagined. That year was the most fun I’d ever had in the classroom, and I was actually sad to have my own room the following year. (That’s pretty incredible for someone who likes to control the learning environment as much as I do.)
Even more miraculous is the fact that I’ve never had serious issues with ANY co-workers in the eight schools I’ve worked in: there have been difficult teachers in every school, for sure, but my grade level team has always been pretty cohesive and drama-free. Maybe my standards are low, but as long as my teammates are respectful of one another, I consider the partnership a success. I’ve never had to collaborate with anyone who made my life miserable due to a poor attitude and unprofessionalism.
I am aware that this is not the norm.
There’s definitely been a common theme of late in both the email and blog post comments I’ve received: some of you are stuck with annoying, know-it-all, snobby, snitchy, lazy, and downright incompetent colleagues:
Exhibit A:
“I’m on a team with a dominant teacher. I’ve stood up to her on behalf of my partner who was being bullied. My partner was able to get moved to another grade level, but I’m stuck next year. Any advice on dealing with an antagonistic alpha?”
Exhibit B:
“Does anyone have any advice about dealing with a teammate that you feel this way about [that s/he is extremely annoying]? I tried unsuccessfully to get the principal to move me to another grade level. Arggh!”
Exhibit C:
“I agree with what has been said and it’s nice to know that we’re not alone. I agree about the co-worker too. What can you do about that especially when you work in close proximity to them. Help!!!”
And that’s the question: what CAN you do? Any suggestions for these folks who are forced to co-teach or collaborate with difficult colleagues?
Angela Watson
Founder and Writer
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Hi Cowboy Joe,
I’ve visited your blog before and think it’s really cool. Thanks for your comment. My hubby would agree with you, he says he deals with aggressive people all the time at work and that I just have to get thicker skin. As for being obnoxious, I’ve tried to be objective about my part in this. I’m typically a “live and let live” kind of person. But this woman really is looking to ambush me. People from different occupations have commented that people are generally getting ruder. My past experiences have been that teachers are generally pleasant and helpful. Now though, I think my co-teachers see each other as competition. The one who gets the highest test scores is the winner, the other gets reassigned to a different grade level.
Exhibit A
Teachin’: The importance of reporting–you are totally right. If the behavior is that extreme, it needs to be documented and the union should get involved if the admin won’t.
SmWonder00: Developing a thick skin is so important, thanks for pointing that out. It can be difficult for teachers because we’re taught that everyone is ‘friends’ and we’re all there for the good of the children…but that’s simply not reality. Making the decision not to let the bad attitude of others affect you is critical.
Independent Educator: Being known as ‘the teacher who doesn’t work well with others’ is the kiss of death, and a surefire way to have admin breathing down your neck all the time. Many times I have asked myself: “Which is more important, having the unprofessional behavior of a co-worker rectified, or maintaining my reputation as a team player who doesn’t complain?”. Tough balance.
Anon (Exhibit A): Sounds like your game plan is a good one: stand up for yourself without letting it anger you or steal your peace.
CowboyJoe: It’s always good to remember that WE might be the obnoxious one to someone else–thanks for the reminder.
Anon (Exhibit A): Teachers are certainly put in competition with one another in regards to test scores, and that definitely hurts the sense of collaboration that many of us have enjoyed for years. It’s highly unfortunate. But if you feel like this woman is truly out to ambush you, the best advice I can give is to pray for her, that God would change her heart. She is obviously struggling with some issues and needs to come to peace with herself: the problems she has with you are only symptomatic of what’s happening inside of her. When she gains the proper perspective, her behaviors will line up with her thoughts and things will change. Until then, be calm, assertive, and don’t let her take your joy.
It’ seems like every team has the one member who makes life difficult for the others This is going to sound goofy, but I have one of those teammates and the bet advice ever given to me was this:
“Crystal, when she walks into the room, imagine her as a sitcom character, theme music and all. It’ll be so funny that she can’t possibly stress you out!”
OH my goodness! This is so right. Go on, give it a try. You know you want to!
Angela, you’re right about not letting the conflict keep me from enjoying all the good things. T.O.P., I love the idea of treating it like a sitcom…it will keep me from taking it too seriously. I can be Popeye. She’ll be Bluto. (Cowboy Joe would probably make me be Bluto, though.)
Exhibit A
Great question! what do we do when the problematic worker is a paraeducator who is hostile and abusive (and probably borderline personality) who can’t be fired because of a very strong union? Despite documentation, poor reviews and multiple parent letters asking to keep her away form their children (and I agree), because the documentation is considered “hearsay,” she cannot be terminated? Now THAT’S a nightmare.