Uncategorized | Jan 17, 2011
Dear Facebook: special needs kids want more than acceptance.
By Angela Watson
Founder and Writer
Dear Facebook: special needs kids want more than acceptance.
By Angela Watson
People need to understand that children with special needs are not sick. They are not searching for a cure, just acceptance. Ninety three percent of people will not copy and paste this. Will you be part of the seven percent that will and leave it on your wall for at least an hour?
Kids with special needs only want what everyone wants- to be accepted. Can I make a request? Is anyone willing to post this and leave it on your status for at least 1 hour? It is Special Education week, and this is in honor of all children made in a unique way. You never understand a situation until you are faced with it!
Did any of you see a variation of this status update on your friend’s Facebook wall? Or maybe you posted it yourself. It started circulating harmlessly enough last April during “National Special Education Week”. Then during special education week in July. And again in October. And now apparently in January.
If you’re wondering how special education week could occur every other month, well, it doesn’t. This is yet another Facebook hoax and Special Education Week doesn’t exist at all. It turns out to be a case of good intentions, poor critical thinking.
This status update bothers me beyond the mindless posting and re-posting on social network sites. I think it’s completely untrue. Many kids with special needs would like far more than acceptance: they’d like the academic support they need to be successful. And some of them would, in fact, like a cure to be found for their disorders. This is especially true for people with mental health issues such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and so on.
Acceptance is the starting place for kids with special needs, it’s not ‘all they want’. We do children a disservice by pretending otherwise. Instead of oversimplifying their challenges in honor of a fake national cause week, I think we could do more good by spreading awareness of foundations that work to help children with special needs. Isn’t allowing these organizations to share their message preferable to presuming what kids with special needs really want?
I know this is a bit of a hot-button topic. But I think it’s important to open it up for discussion and challenge people to really examine what those with special needs want from us and how we can best serve them. These are my thoughts as both a veteran teacher and someone who has experienced learning disabilities and mental illness within my family. What are your thoughts? Do you think special needs kids ‘only want acceptance’?
Angela Watson
Founder and Writer
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Lots of school districts have an official “special needs week,” although few do as much with it as Tina’s school apparently does (I’m envious, Tina!).
As a parent of a special needs boy I can tell you, acceptance is not his only goal but it’s absolutely the one that he wants more than any of the others. He’s okay with being different as long as his peers are willing to engage with him and not shun him. Unfortunately that’s not always the case and the pain that causes him is devastating for both of us. But that’s just my son. Another special needs child will have different priorities. We are talking about individuals after all.
But perhaps it’s because of the incredibly wide range of children that fit into the “special needs,” category that those who created that FB status chose the wording they did. Because while one child will want to be a scientist and another will want to have better control of their moods and yet another will want to improve their coordination the one thing they will ALL have in common is the desire for acceptance.
I saw this FB status a while back and I chose not to repost it because I didn’t think it was going to do a lot of good. It sounded a bit too sappy and since it was clearly not personalized by the poster it felt somewhat lacking in emotional weight. But I certainly understand why others would want to post it and I respect their choice. After all, at a time when bullying and cyber bullying is becoming a life-threatening epidemic, advocating for a little acceptance isn’t such a bad thing.
Hi, Kyra. If some school districts create their own special needs week, then it would make sense to see so many different postings about it at different times of year. I hadn’t heard of this before you and Tina mentioned it.
I’m glad you shared your son’s perspective. The way that you worded your opinion on this is absolutely perfect–maybe YOU should create a Facebook meme and this time it will actually make sense! “The one thing they ALL have in common is the desire for acceptance–beautifully stated, and completely true.
Hi Angela, thank you for this article, and being so correct with this issue. Have a severely disabled child, both mentally and physically I can relate. Although off topic, when I am out with my daughter, we get many stares and finger pointing from children and sometimes even adults. Although it doesn’t happen a lot, I even get rude comments. So I know where the problem is, basically being a lack of respect of others in public, and education.
However I’d like to ask you about different ways to handle these types of situations that does not create a hostile situation. I’m more laid back, where my wife is not when it comes to this matter. She will speak her mind, very well to these individuals 🙂 Even though I feel the same hurt as my wife does during these situations, the fact that we are in public I am more reserved, and not creating a bad confrontation. We have tried just talking to children and briefly educating them. We sometimes just ignore the entire situation and walk a different way. I’ve even had to step in front of my daughter so that she is out of sight with people staring.
So with that said, I’d like to get feedback and your thoughts on this. What have others tried?
Thank you very much!
Hi, Vinh, I’m sorry for the late reply. What a tough yet important topic! Do I have your permission to share this comment as a blog post? I’d like to get some discussion going about it. I am certain that many other people have encountered this issue and will have some words of wisdom for you.